My how it's been a long time since I blogged about our journey with Russell! Not because we don't have anything to share or things haven't happened since the last post, but really more because life and all its scheduled commitments have a tendency of getting in the way.
Beverly and I made a pact with each other when we first reconnected with Russell, that we would make sure to visit him at least three times a year. Once in August before school starts, once at Christmas time, and always on or around his birthday on June 2. This was our annual birthday trip to visit Russell, since his birthday is Monday and he turns 22. Remember he's been in prison since he was 15, so he's creeping up on seven years so far behind bars. Seven years and many more to go.
It took a while to actually get through security to see him because their computer system was down, which made them have to do everything by hand. When a guard has to look up your name on the printed out visitor list and make a phone call to the main visitor station, it takes a bit longer. Once we got through the first check point and made our way across the barbed wire walkway and into the second check-in station, we handed the guard our driver's licenses and they gave us Russell's printed visitor sheet that shows everyone who is on his visitor list, the dates he has had visitors, and his current "status." If you remember when we first got back in contact with Russell almost four years ago, he was in segregation. That means he was in an isolated cell with no roommate, couldn't go outside during recreation time, and when he had visitors, had to be brought to another individual cell, handcuffed. I'll be honest, but that was always difficult for Beverly and I to watch.
In prison, it's all about your level status, and the status any prisoner (I hope) wants to reach is what is called G1/G2. At this level, you can have physical contact visits with family members, make phone calls, work to make some money, and at times enjoy some nice treats from the commissary. When prisoners get to have physical contact visits, they occur at little picnic tables situated throughout the inside of the visitation area, as well as outside where a prisoner and his visitor can enjoy some sunshine. After visiting Russell in segregation many times, we told him we were sick of him being in seg, so it didn't take long for him to make G4 status. He actually wrote and told us he had a surprise for us, but wanted to tell us in person, so the time we went to visit him for our surprise, it took us a little while to figure it out. It wasn't until the guard told us what number section to sit in and we actually sat down, that we realized we weren't sitting in the small segregation visitation cell area. Beverly and I just looked at each other and let out a scream and yelled, "He's not in segregation...that's our surprise!" When Russell came walking down on his own with no handcuffs, we screamed again! He just smiled and said, "Surprise!" We knew Russell was on a great path to improving himself and his time behind bars. Not long after that, we got a letter from him telling us he made G2 status, which meant we were definitely on the right path to making it to the picnic tables!
Today when we took his visitor sheet to hand it to the guards at our final check in station, we noticed it said G4. That could only mean that Russell did something to get in trouble and get his G2 status revoked. When Russell finally came down to sit at our station and we all picked up the phone, the first thing he said was, "I got into some trouble and I'm G4 again." Because Beverly and I keep on Russell to make good choices all the time, he always gets embarrassed to tell us when he messes up. And he always apologizes to us. We asked him what happened, so he told us. Every now and then, the guards will do a sweep of the prisoners' cells, and when they do, it isn't done very neatly. When they came in to sweep Russell's cell, they ended up throwing his clothes over the railing, where they landed on the concrete floor three stories below. This didn't make Russell very happy, so he decided to go running down the stairs to retrieve his clothes, but when he did, a female guard, who was in front of him, thought Russell was charging at her, so she whipped our her pepper spray and gave him a few squirts. Russell swears he was just rushing down the stairs to get his clothes, and kept repeating to us that he would never hurt a girl. Bev and I believe Russell, but what we expressed to him is that if someone doesn't know him, they would definitely think he is scary and capable of doing harm because of the way he looks. Because of that incident, Russell spent two weeks in solitary confinement and lost his G2 status. He tried to fight the charge and get it dropped, but they denied it. Beverly and I explained to Russell that he has to get a grip on his emotions because regardless of what he thinks is "fair" or whether or not he actually did what he is (or might be) accused of, he will never win in there. We told him that the next time something like that happens, and it probably will, he just needs to take a deep breath and give himself some time to get his emotions in check. A moment of anger or what Russell deems fair or unfair, isn't worth losing what he's worked so hard to accomplish. He promised it wouldn't happen again, and when he comes up for G2 status in October and gets it, he'll make sure to not let it go.
We really had a great visit. Despite a setback and some disappointment, Russell is still on a much better path than when he first entered the system. All he needs to focus on now is taking some deep breaths...and a picnic table.
Saturday, May 31, 2014
Sunday, March 17, 2013
Russell's Advice
As teachers, we don't go into this profession blindly; we know it is a calling and a career that is not meant for everyone. We are education warriors hoping to impact the lives of students each year. It isn't always easy and we aren't always successful in making sure our students turn out okay, but what matters the most is that we care about them, we love them, and we try to make a difference.
Beverly and I, and the other teachers Russell had during his time in middle school, all tried to do just that. Despite all of our efforts, our plans didn't end up saving him.
I told you in my last blog, I decided to ask Russell that if he could give any advice to kids like him who frequent my office and have similar home lives like he had, what would he say to them? I told him about a student at my campus who reminds me a lot of him, and it is my hope that when she leaves our school, she turns out okay. I wasn't sure how or if he would have any advice, but his reply proved otherwise. I won't retype his entire letter, but here is Russell's advice to kids:
"I think that you could help her by showing her that you care. I think that she's angry because of her home life & doesn't get enough love. I think that you should keep talking to her. Maybe pull her out to see how she's doing. I don't know, but if you just talk to her when she's getting in trouble, she might think that's the only time that y'all can talk about things. She's 14, still real young, so it could be who's she's chilling with. I would never admit it to my mom when she said it, but friends influence each other. I chilled with older cats & my brain was like a sponge, soakin up the game. Part of it could be from her just wanting to be accepted, you know? If I could give some advice to her or kids like her I would say...that one day they'll regret all of these things that they're doing now. Stay in school because that's the foundation they'll build their adult lives on. These days you can't do anything without at least a GED. I would tell them to stay out of the streets. Go to the Rec, get involved with sports, or anything that will keep them busy. I'd tell them that one day if they don't change the path they're taking, they'll be where I'm at. I had a bad home life, but I know that if I would've stayed out of the streets & kept playing football, I wouldn't be here. I hope that they do stay out of trouble, because I don't want to see anyone in here, especially when it could be avoided.
No, as teachers we can't save them all, but we can sure try!
Beverly and I, and the other teachers Russell had during his time in middle school, all tried to do just that. Despite all of our efforts, our plans didn't end up saving him.
I told you in my last blog, I decided to ask Russell that if he could give any advice to kids like him who frequent my office and have similar home lives like he had, what would he say to them? I told him about a student at my campus who reminds me a lot of him, and it is my hope that when she leaves our school, she turns out okay. I wasn't sure how or if he would have any advice, but his reply proved otherwise. I won't retype his entire letter, but here is Russell's advice to kids:
"I think that you could help her by showing her that you care. I think that she's angry because of her home life & doesn't get enough love. I think that you should keep talking to her. Maybe pull her out to see how she's doing. I don't know, but if you just talk to her when she's getting in trouble, she might think that's the only time that y'all can talk about things. She's 14, still real young, so it could be who's she's chilling with. I would never admit it to my mom when she said it, but friends influence each other. I chilled with older cats & my brain was like a sponge, soakin up the game. Part of it could be from her just wanting to be accepted, you know? If I could give some advice to her or kids like her I would say...that one day they'll regret all of these things that they're doing now. Stay in school because that's the foundation they'll build their adult lives on. These days you can't do anything without at least a GED. I would tell them to stay out of the streets. Go to the Rec, get involved with sports, or anything that will keep them busy. I'd tell them that one day if they don't change the path they're taking, they'll be where I'm at. I had a bad home life, but I know that if I would've stayed out of the streets & kept playing football, I wouldn't be here. I hope that they do stay out of trouble, because I don't want to see anyone in here, especially when it could be avoided.
No, as teachers we can't save them all, but we can sure try!
Sunday, January 20, 2013
A Summer Letter
With a new school year comes new change and new hope. It's been a while since the last blog because I started the school year out with new change as an assistant principal. Beverly started the new school year with the chance to watch her precious granddaughter one day a week. With our new change, we realized it would take a while before we were able to get to Abilene for a visit with Russell, so in the meantime, we continued writing him. Bev and I always look forward to getting a letter from Russell, and when we do, we immediately call each other to share it. The following letter is one I couldn't wait to share with her.
In Russell's own words, here is his summer letter:
Mrs. Edmunds,
Hey! I just got your letter with the pictures tonite, (6.14.12), & I just barely got Mrs. Barfield's card yesterday. The mail room is real slow here & they are not supposed to hold onto our mail for more than 24 hours, but they do anyway, so I'm sorry it's taken a few to send you a reply letter. I wrote Mrs. Barfield right after the visit, & I wanted to write you too, but I didn't have your address before now." If you remember in my last blog, Russell was transferred to a prison in West Texas, so three bags of his personal belongings were left behind, which had some of his addresses in it. He now has those belongings back, which is good. He goes on to ask us what type of drawings we like because he would like to do something for Bev and I, and he wonders if we have seen any books around "with drawings in there like tattoo art?" He continues, "I need a book like that. See I draw in pencil, but I can't draw things straight out of my head. I need to be able to see it. I've got some good ideas, but when I try to do it straight out of my mind, it doesn't look right, & drawing's something that I really want to learn how to do." He then goes on to tell us about the types of things he enjoys drawing and is getting better at and asks if we know about any books that might help him. Russell then says, "IDK (I don't know) but I want to send something to show appreciation for what y'all have been doing for me. Like I told Mrs. Barfield in the letter I wrote yesterday, I feel like since y'all have stepped in, that things have been going good for me. Y'all brought happiness & some kind of peace into my life. It was more for y'all than me that I got out of "seg," because I was getting sort of comfortable back there. I was gonna get out eventually, but before y'all came, I was just doing my time. I wasn't getting in trouble out there, but I was really just adjusting to life in "seg" and that's not good. I never want to feel comfortable in here at all, because I'm not "institutionalized." I hurt inside because I know that I left good people & good things out there in the free world. I'm building a "support team" in here that started with you & Mrs. Barfield, & it makes me feel good & like I'm loved and cared for. The only person I had when I 1st came down was Ronnie (a man who mentored Russell when he was still at TCJC), & he's been a good friend, but he wasn't just "there." The feeling I have with you & Mrs. Barfield isn't something I've experienced before, & all these different factors that have been going for me for the last 4 months have been things that have kept me on my toes, because I care for all of y'all that have been keeping it real with me, and I don't want to hurt or disappoint y'all." I think the line that tugged at Bev and I the most is when he said that what he has with us isn't something he's ever experienced before. Russell should have experienced that. Every child deserves to experience that. If anything, we are just glad he's experiencing it now, even if it's at the age of 20.
Before school ended of this particular year, several of us at NRMS participated in the Warrior Dash in honor of one of our beloved teachers battling a brain tumor. I sent Russell some pictures from the race. He said, "So what exactly was the mud dash? Is it a race in the mud? I thought y'all were crazy in that picture! LOL! :) I saw it and said, "Man, what is this?" & busted out laughing! I thought it was cool though, & I'm glad y'all had so much fun. It was in Mrs. Worrell's name & that made it even better. Once the school year ended, me, Bev, Robin, and Barbara went on our little annual girls' trip. This time it was to Hot Springs, AR where we did some sightseeing and participated in a mineral hot bath. Barbara and I absolutely hated it, and by the time we got in the car to head back to Fort Worth, I had the most horrible headache. I told Russell about how it was supposed to be so wonderful, and I guess it was for Beverly and Robin, but Barbara and I truly found it quite torturous! Russell said, "So, how does that water flow from the mountain in Hot Springs? Does it come from like a hole & flow into a pool type thing, or is it with pipes & all that? I probably would've liked it because I'm cold & always loved hotter weather. I don't like the cold because it messes with my hands & ankles. Maybe I have arthritis." Bev and I just had to laugh at that one! "I just don't know. Maybe you had a headache because of that mineral bath."
Well, thank you so much for the pictures and the card! :) I can't wait to see y'all again. I've still been staying out of trouble. I hope to hear from y'all soon. Take it easy & drive safe. God Bless!
Sincerely,
Russell A. Dow
Beverly and I journeyed to West Texas before this school year began. At the time, I hadn't yet gotten my new job as an assistant principal. After I got the job, I wrote to Russell to let him know how the job was going, and to ask him if he had any advice to give to the kids who frequent my office, and in some instances, have home lives similar to what Russell had. In the latest letter I got from him, Russell did share some rather poignant advice to help kids from tough situations not end up where he is.
I'll share that with you soon.
In Russell's own words, here is his summer letter:
Mrs. Edmunds,
Hey! I just got your letter with the pictures tonite, (6.14.12), & I just barely got Mrs. Barfield's card yesterday. The mail room is real slow here & they are not supposed to hold onto our mail for more than 24 hours, but they do anyway, so I'm sorry it's taken a few to send you a reply letter. I wrote Mrs. Barfield right after the visit, & I wanted to write you too, but I didn't have your address before now." If you remember in my last blog, Russell was transferred to a prison in West Texas, so three bags of his personal belongings were left behind, which had some of his addresses in it. He now has those belongings back, which is good. He goes on to ask us what type of drawings we like because he would like to do something for Bev and I, and he wonders if we have seen any books around "with drawings in there like tattoo art?" He continues, "I need a book like that. See I draw in pencil, but I can't draw things straight out of my head. I need to be able to see it. I've got some good ideas, but when I try to do it straight out of my mind, it doesn't look right, & drawing's something that I really want to learn how to do." He then goes on to tell us about the types of things he enjoys drawing and is getting better at and asks if we know about any books that might help him. Russell then says, "IDK (I don't know) but I want to send something to show appreciation for what y'all have been doing for me. Like I told Mrs. Barfield in the letter I wrote yesterday, I feel like since y'all have stepped in, that things have been going good for me. Y'all brought happiness & some kind of peace into my life. It was more for y'all than me that I got out of "seg," because I was getting sort of comfortable back there. I was gonna get out eventually, but before y'all came, I was just doing my time. I wasn't getting in trouble out there, but I was really just adjusting to life in "seg" and that's not good. I never want to feel comfortable in here at all, because I'm not "institutionalized." I hurt inside because I know that I left good people & good things out there in the free world. I'm building a "support team" in here that started with you & Mrs. Barfield, & it makes me feel good & like I'm loved and cared for. The only person I had when I 1st came down was Ronnie (a man who mentored Russell when he was still at TCJC), & he's been a good friend, but he wasn't just "there." The feeling I have with you & Mrs. Barfield isn't something I've experienced before, & all these different factors that have been going for me for the last 4 months have been things that have kept me on my toes, because I care for all of y'all that have been keeping it real with me, and I don't want to hurt or disappoint y'all." I think the line that tugged at Bev and I the most is when he said that what he has with us isn't something he's ever experienced before. Russell should have experienced that. Every child deserves to experience that. If anything, we are just glad he's experiencing it now, even if it's at the age of 20.
Before school ended of this particular year, several of us at NRMS participated in the Warrior Dash in honor of one of our beloved teachers battling a brain tumor. I sent Russell some pictures from the race. He said, "So what exactly was the mud dash? Is it a race in the mud? I thought y'all were crazy in that picture! LOL! :) I saw it and said, "Man, what is this?" & busted out laughing! I thought it was cool though, & I'm glad y'all had so much fun. It was in Mrs. Worrell's name & that made it even better. Once the school year ended, me, Bev, Robin, and Barbara went on our little annual girls' trip. This time it was to Hot Springs, AR where we did some sightseeing and participated in a mineral hot bath. Barbara and I absolutely hated it, and by the time we got in the car to head back to Fort Worth, I had the most horrible headache. I told Russell about how it was supposed to be so wonderful, and I guess it was for Beverly and Robin, but Barbara and I truly found it quite torturous! Russell said, "So, how does that water flow from the mountain in Hot Springs? Does it come from like a hole & flow into a pool type thing, or is it with pipes & all that? I probably would've liked it because I'm cold & always loved hotter weather. I don't like the cold because it messes with my hands & ankles. Maybe I have arthritis." Bev and I just had to laugh at that one! "I just don't know. Maybe you had a headache because of that mineral bath."
Well, thank you so much for the pictures and the card! :) I can't wait to see y'all again. I've still been staying out of trouble. I hope to hear from y'all soon. Take it easy & drive safe. God Bless!
Sincerely,
Russell A. Dow
Beverly and I journeyed to West Texas before this school year began. At the time, I hadn't yet gotten my new job as an assistant principal. After I got the job, I wrote to Russell to let him know how the job was going, and to ask him if he had any advice to give to the kids who frequent my office, and in some instances, have home lives similar to what Russell had. In the latest letter I got from him, Russell did share some rather poignant advice to help kids from tough situations not end up where he is.
I'll share that with you soon.
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
A Birthday Visit
I have never been one to eagerly embrace change. I am comfortable with what I know, and in that comfort I find peace, and all is right with my world. I realize change is necessary at times though too, so when Beverly called me one day to tell me that she received a letter from Russell saying he had been moved to a new prison, we both had to refocus our perspectives on how this change could be good for him and us.
Being the positive people we are, Beverly and I worked hard to build relationships with the guards at the previous prison Russell was in. We made this happen with smiles, stories, laughter, and of course some delicious cupcakes we brought to them on one visit. We dreaded having to start the entire process again as we journeyed to West Texas, this time for our visit with Russell on June 2, his 20th birthday.
When we arrived, we excitedly greeted the new guards with our warm, genuine smiles and bubbly personalities. The guard asked us who we were there to visit and what his number was. We told him we were teachers visiting a former student, and that he had been recently moved from a prison in Northeast Texas to this new one. We then had to pop the hood and the trunk and get out of the car so they could search it. Once that was over, we found a parking spot, got our change in hand, and headed to the entrance. We always try to dress pretty nice (but casual) when we visit Russell, and we also know there is a dress code for visitors too. I was wearing a white tank top with a gray and white striped shirt with sleeves over it. You know the kind, right? So when the guard asked me if my outer shirt was attached to my tank, I gladly showed him that it wasn't, not thinking much about it and wondering why he was asking me. To our surprise, he quickly told me that I couldn't wear that shirt and we couldn't see Russell until I found something else to put on. Being two and a half hours away from Ft. Worth and not at all close to the nearest Walmart, we started panicking when the guard told us we could go to the hospitality house around the corner and they would provide a shirt I could wear. We hurriedly got back into the car and found our way to the house.
Once inside the house, we met a precious lady named Yogi. We told her who we were and who we were visiting and that the guard sent us to her to get a different shirt for me to wear. She went to the back of the room and brought back a shirt. I referred to it as the "clown shirt" the rest of the visit as it was rather hideous, but beggars can't be choosers, so I thanked Yogi for letting me borrow it.
She told us about the prison mission work she and her husband do. The hospitality house is their personal home, but it also provides lodging and food for those visiting a prisoner who live 300 or more miles away and cannot afford to stay at a hotel. Yogi said they have one lady who travels every weekend from El Paso to visit her husband.
Once again, it's amazing the "road blocks" God provides for us at times. Because of my dress code violation and that "clown shirt," we have now made a connection with this wonderful woman, and she has added Russell's name to a mentor group for prisoners organized by her church.
When we finally got inside the prison, we were told where to go and that the guards would get Russell for us. The anticipation is always emotional when we are waiting to see him, but on this day it was even more so because it was his birthday. About five minutes passed when they finally brought Russell to us. The tough guy persona that is Russell in prison quickly disappears when he sees us. His eyes light up and this beautiful smile covers his face...especially when we shouted, "Happy Birthday!" I wish you all could see it. We thought since he was no longer in segregation he wouldn't be handcuffed when they brought him to us; however, he is at the bottom of the ladder, known as G5 status, and will remain that way for the next six months. So as long as he's a G5, they will bring him to us handcuffed and will take him from us handcuffed. When the six months is over, he will be free of the cuffs and will no longer have to remain in a little cage type room during our visits. We'll still be separated from him by glass, but he'll be in a more open area. We keep trying to encourage him to continue up the ladder so one day we can visit with him at the picnic tables, free from a glass partition.
Our visit was really nice. We talked about the move and asked him how he found out he was being relocated. He said they told him the night before and that he needed to pack his belongings. He was only able to take one bag on the bus; the others he had to leave behind to be shipped later. He is still waiting for his other two bags. Beverly and I laughed as Russell told us that because it had been over two years since he had been in a vehicle, he got pretty car sick on the way to the new prison. He told us he wasn't excited about moving at first, but he has been adjusting and liking it pretty well. The food is better in this new prison and now he has a roommate. In a letter Beverly got from Russell soon after this visit, he shared with her how he learned that his roommate doesn't know how to read or write. Russell told Beverly that he is teaching him and asked if she knew of any phonics books that might help. Russell also said he hopes that teaching his roommate how to read and write is (in a small a way) how he can begin giving back to society.
Beverly and I also asked Russell about meeting with the Ad Seg board when his time in segregation was about to be over and it was to be decided if he was ready to return to population. He told us that he was taken in a room where he stood in front of the warden, assistant warden, and a sheriff. They asked him, "Why should we allow you to be in population? What have you done that shows you are ready to return?" Russell's response was genuine, and I think true as to what love can do to hearts in need. He said, "As long as I've been doing my time, I never really had a need to change, but now I have people who care about me and believe in me, and I want to do better for them." I guess those three people standing in front of Russell that day could see the change too, because they granted his request to return.
Bev and I see it too. We see it when his smile lights up his face upon seeing us, and we see it in the sincere, "Thank you for coming to see me" we get when they tell us our time is up and we have to say goodbye.
It has taken time, trust, and faith to get where we are today. We know we still have a long way to go with Russell, but we also know his heart, even if in a small way, is beginning to soften. Perhaps that's what happens when you know you are loved.
Being the positive people we are, Beverly and I worked hard to build relationships with the guards at the previous prison Russell was in. We made this happen with smiles, stories, laughter, and of course some delicious cupcakes we brought to them on one visit. We dreaded having to start the entire process again as we journeyed to West Texas, this time for our visit with Russell on June 2, his 20th birthday.
When we arrived, we excitedly greeted the new guards with our warm, genuine smiles and bubbly personalities. The guard asked us who we were there to visit and what his number was. We told him we were teachers visiting a former student, and that he had been recently moved from a prison in Northeast Texas to this new one. We then had to pop the hood and the trunk and get out of the car so they could search it. Once that was over, we found a parking spot, got our change in hand, and headed to the entrance. We always try to dress pretty nice (but casual) when we visit Russell, and we also know there is a dress code for visitors too. I was wearing a white tank top with a gray and white striped shirt with sleeves over it. You know the kind, right? So when the guard asked me if my outer shirt was attached to my tank, I gladly showed him that it wasn't, not thinking much about it and wondering why he was asking me. To our surprise, he quickly told me that I couldn't wear that shirt and we couldn't see Russell until I found something else to put on. Being two and a half hours away from Ft. Worth and not at all close to the nearest Walmart, we started panicking when the guard told us we could go to the hospitality house around the corner and they would provide a shirt I could wear. We hurriedly got back into the car and found our way to the house.
 |
| Me in the lovely "clown shirt" outside the prison |
She told us about the prison mission work she and her husband do. The hospitality house is their personal home, but it also provides lodging and food for those visiting a prisoner who live 300 or more miles away and cannot afford to stay at a hotel. Yogi said they have one lady who travels every weekend from El Paso to visit her husband.
Once again, it's amazing the "road blocks" God provides for us at times. Because of my dress code violation and that "clown shirt," we have now made a connection with this wonderful woman, and she has added Russell's name to a mentor group for prisoners organized by her church.
When we finally got inside the prison, we were told where to go and that the guards would get Russell for us. The anticipation is always emotional when we are waiting to see him, but on this day it was even more so because it was his birthday. About five minutes passed when they finally brought Russell to us. The tough guy persona that is Russell in prison quickly disappears when he sees us. His eyes light up and this beautiful smile covers his face...especially when we shouted, "Happy Birthday!" I wish you all could see it. We thought since he was no longer in segregation he wouldn't be handcuffed when they brought him to us; however, he is at the bottom of the ladder, known as G5 status, and will remain that way for the next six months. So as long as he's a G5, they will bring him to us handcuffed and will take him from us handcuffed. When the six months is over, he will be free of the cuffs and will no longer have to remain in a little cage type room during our visits. We'll still be separated from him by glass, but he'll be in a more open area. We keep trying to encourage him to continue up the ladder so one day we can visit with him at the picnic tables, free from a glass partition.
Our visit was really nice. We talked about the move and asked him how he found out he was being relocated. He said they told him the night before and that he needed to pack his belongings. He was only able to take one bag on the bus; the others he had to leave behind to be shipped later. He is still waiting for his other two bags. Beverly and I laughed as Russell told us that because it had been over two years since he had been in a vehicle, he got pretty car sick on the way to the new prison. He told us he wasn't excited about moving at first, but he has been adjusting and liking it pretty well. The food is better in this new prison and now he has a roommate. In a letter Beverly got from Russell soon after this visit, he shared with her how he learned that his roommate doesn't know how to read or write. Russell told Beverly that he is teaching him and asked if she knew of any phonics books that might help. Russell also said he hopes that teaching his roommate how to read and write is (in a small a way) how he can begin giving back to society.
Beverly and I also asked Russell about meeting with the Ad Seg board when his time in segregation was about to be over and it was to be decided if he was ready to return to population. He told us that he was taken in a room where he stood in front of the warden, assistant warden, and a sheriff. They asked him, "Why should we allow you to be in population? What have you done that shows you are ready to return?" Russell's response was genuine, and I think true as to what love can do to hearts in need. He said, "As long as I've been doing my time, I never really had a need to change, but now I have people who care about me and believe in me, and I want to do better for them." I guess those three people standing in front of Russell that day could see the change too, because they granted his request to return.
Bev and I see it too. We see it when his smile lights up his face upon seeing us, and we see it in the sincere, "Thank you for coming to see me" we get when they tell us our time is up and we have to say goodbye.
It has taken time, trust, and faith to get where we are today. We know we still have a long way to go with Russell, but we also know his heart, even if in a small way, is beginning to soften. Perhaps that's what happens when you know you are loved.
Thursday, May 10, 2012
New Beginnings
I love spring. I love the newness of the season, the blooming of the flowers, the sun staying out later. I love that school is almost over and the freedom of summer is within reach. It's also in this season that Beverly and I were hoping to get some pretty great news from Russell. News that we've been waiting for since we first reached out to him in September, and news he's been waiting for even longer.
Again, in his own words, is Russell's letter:
Mrs. Barfield,
"Hey, how's the wind blowing? (lol) Man I'm doing really good actually! Sorry you haven't heard from me in a few, but changes are in the making. (lol) Well one reason you haven't heard from me is because I have been waiting on the state classification committee to come from Huntsville. I thought they would come early in the month, but they didn't come until the end! (lol) On the 28th actually! But Yes! After 2 long years they voted to let me out to Population! :) I'm still in seg. right now, until all the paper work gets through to Huntsville so that'll take about 1 1/2 weeks but once that goes thru I'm going straight to 8 bldg. "G5". It's the bottom of the barrel, I have to work my way up, but it's cool with me."
On February 10, one of our precious and most beloved teachers was diagnosed with a brain tumor. In her last letter, Beverly told Russell about Judy and asked him to keep her in his prayers. We thought he would want to know since Judy taught Russell, even if it was for a short time. This next part of his letter just melted our hearts.
"Another reason is that I was sad when I heard about what happened to Mrs. Worrell! :( How is she by the way? Well I have been trying, since forever to mail out a handkerchief with a "Get well soon" drawing on it but the "property lady" hasn't come by? :( See, we can't mail big art work out thru regular mail channels, it has to go thru the Property, then the mail room. So as soon as I can get her to come by, I'll send it to you, so you can give it to her when it's convenient. Please keep it a secret till then, because I want it to be a surprise!" Jennifer, Alicia, and Sara...if you read this, don't tell your mom about Russell's "surprise" okay? :) Russell goes on to ask Beverly about the wedding she went to, and asks her if she saw any wildflowers. He tells her that he's been working on his drawing and is working with pencil. My husband, Jim has a friend who spent time in prison, and his art work is simply phenomenal! He says it's really rather easy to pick up and learn when you have a lot of time on your hands. I imagine Russell will become very good at it over the course of his years spent there. Russell's letter came right after the metroplex was hit with all of those tornadoes, so he asks, "Did you believe all those tornadoes that ripped thru DFW yesterday? It was storming bad over here. Real bad thunder & lightening! How is Mrs. Edmunds? Tell her "Hi" for me."
This last part of his letter, albeit something small, ended up being a big joy for Bev and I. "Would it be possible to take a picture next time y'all visit? I don't think I'll be wearing a jumpsuit any longer. It'll be a 2 piece, if I'm not mistaken. I'm not sure how it is in G5, but I know population G4-G1- does. Well, I guess that's all for now. I hope y'all are okay and everything's allright! God bless & happy Easter."
Much love,
Russell A. Dow
So, life is pretty good right now. Spring is in the air, the flowers are indeed in bloom, the sun still shines into the late evening...and Russell no longer has to wear a jumpsuit.
Until next time.
Again, in his own words, is Russell's letter:
Mrs. Barfield,
"Hey, how's the wind blowing? (lol) Man I'm doing really good actually! Sorry you haven't heard from me in a few, but changes are in the making. (lol) Well one reason you haven't heard from me is because I have been waiting on the state classification committee to come from Huntsville. I thought they would come early in the month, but they didn't come until the end! (lol) On the 28th actually! But Yes! After 2 long years they voted to let me out to Population! :) I'm still in seg. right now, until all the paper work gets through to Huntsville so that'll take about 1 1/2 weeks but once that goes thru I'm going straight to 8 bldg. "G5". It's the bottom of the barrel, I have to work my way up, but it's cool with me."
On February 10, one of our precious and most beloved teachers was diagnosed with a brain tumor. In her last letter, Beverly told Russell about Judy and asked him to keep her in his prayers. We thought he would want to know since Judy taught Russell, even if it was for a short time. This next part of his letter just melted our hearts.
"Another reason is that I was sad when I heard about what happened to Mrs. Worrell! :( How is she by the way? Well I have been trying, since forever to mail out a handkerchief with a "Get well soon" drawing on it but the "property lady" hasn't come by? :( See, we can't mail big art work out thru regular mail channels, it has to go thru the Property, then the mail room. So as soon as I can get her to come by, I'll send it to you, so you can give it to her when it's convenient. Please keep it a secret till then, because I want it to be a surprise!" Jennifer, Alicia, and Sara...if you read this, don't tell your mom about Russell's "surprise" okay? :) Russell goes on to ask Beverly about the wedding she went to, and asks her if she saw any wildflowers. He tells her that he's been working on his drawing and is working with pencil. My husband, Jim has a friend who spent time in prison, and his art work is simply phenomenal! He says it's really rather easy to pick up and learn when you have a lot of time on your hands. I imagine Russell will become very good at it over the course of his years spent there. Russell's letter came right after the metroplex was hit with all of those tornadoes, so he asks, "Did you believe all those tornadoes that ripped thru DFW yesterday? It was storming bad over here. Real bad thunder & lightening! How is Mrs. Edmunds? Tell her "Hi" for me."
This last part of his letter, albeit something small, ended up being a big joy for Bev and I. "Would it be possible to take a picture next time y'all visit? I don't think I'll be wearing a jumpsuit any longer. It'll be a 2 piece, if I'm not mistaken. I'm not sure how it is in G5, but I know population G4-G1- does. Well, I guess that's all for now. I hope y'all are okay and everything's allright! God bless & happy Easter."
Much love,
Russell A. Dow
So, life is pretty good right now. Spring is in the air, the flowers are indeed in bloom, the sun still shines into the late evening...and Russell no longer has to wear a jumpsuit.
Until next time.
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Christmas Visit
Beverly and I decided that we needed to get up to see Russell before Christmas, because it had been over a month since our first visit, and we knew with the holiday approaching and the new year beginning, it might be a while before we made it back. This time, we asked our friends, Barbara and Robin, if they wanted to journey to east Texas with us. Although Barbara and Robin wouldn't be able to get in to see Russell, since he can only have two visitors at a time, we thought it would be fun to make it a little girls' day trip. Robin had to be back in Ft. Worth by early evening for a friend's Christmas party, and we assured her that it would be no problem since we made it home before 6:00pm after our first visit. Little did we know when we set out early that Saturday morning, that our seven hour trip would turn into a 12 hour trip...and Robin missing her party.
When we reached the prison around noon, our plan was to have Barbara and Robin drop us off at the entrance, and then let them take the car to do some shopping and sightseeing for the two hours we were visiting with Russell and then come back to pick us up. So imagine our surprise when we reached the guard gate and the guard motioned to a long line of cars also waiting to get in for visits of their own. Unbeknownst to us, the weekend before Christmas is always a crowded time. We asked the guards how long they thought it would be, and one of them told us it could take anywhere from 20 minutes to two hours to get in to see him.
We were so upset, because we knew if we stayed it meant Robin missing her party, and if we left, it meant not getting to see Russell for another three months or so. We apologized to Robin and told her we could leave if she wanted to. She was so gracious and told us that we came this far to see him, and we were not leaving until we had our visit. Beverly and I are so grateful to Robin for the sacrifice she made for us and Russell.
For those who know the four of us, it doesn't take us long to meet and get to know people, and the prison guards were first on our list. We figured if we had to wait for a couple of hours, we might as well meet some new folks! We walked over to the guard stand and started talking to the guards. They couldn't believe that teachers were coming to visit a former student who was in prison. One of them told us that it was the first time in his years as a prison guard that he had ever seen that. We also met and visited with a precious couple who was visiting their son as well. They were ahead of us in the waiting line, and as soon as the guard gave us both the okay, we hopped in our cars. Bev and I told the couple that we'd see them inside. Barbara and Robin dropped us off at the front entrance, and Bev and I went all the way through security when we realized that we left our bag of quarters in the car. If you remember in one of my previous blogs, I shared that it is such a treat to be able to buy the prisoner you're visiting treats from the vending machines. Well, with no quarters, and no way to go back to the car since Barbara and Robin had already left and we had no way of calling them, Beverly and I about started to cry when we remembered the sweet couple visiting their son. We asked them if there was any way they could loan us some change since we left ours in the car, and we would gladly pay them back. Since we would all be leaving around the same time, it wouldn't be a problem to pay them back immediately. The lady told us that as soon as she found out what snacks her son wanted and bought those, she would give us some change. About two minutes later, she returned and told us we could have the rest of the money. We thanked her profusely, and we introduced her to Russell when they brought him out.
I think God purposely sets up little roadblocks in our lives from time to time, because Beverly and I realized that had we not had to wait the two hours or so to get in to see Russell, we wouldn't have met and visited with the guards and that darling couple, and we wouldn't have had any money to buy snacks for Russell, and I know it sounds silly, but that would have been devastating to us.
We had such a great visit with Russell! We laughed about some of the penpals he's been communicating with via a prison website a friend of his enrolled him in, and how with one of the girls, he's become quite the mentor/couselor to her! The three of us couldn't stop laughing at some of the things he was "helping" her with. We also learned more about Russell's childhood. He told us when he was younger, around nine or so, that his mother was on crack. He would take newspaper and go to the carwash to see if he could clean windows for a couple bucks or so. He said he always gave his mom the money he made. The last letter he got from her was almost a year ago. We are also learning more about prison life. Everything is a fight in prison, and Russell certainly isn't immune to that. For now he is rather safe because he's still in "seg" and doesn't have direct communication with other prisoners, but once he gets out into "population" in March, he won't be. He'll have to fight his way in population to prove himself and make his mark in an environment where no one remains invisible. He told us that where he is, the guards will allow them to fight it out for about 45 seconds, and they won't suffer any repercussions from it as long as they don't have any visible marks on them when they're done. It is a life Beverly and I could never imagine or understand, but it is Russell's life for many more years to come. All we can do is remind him that he is loved and continue being a source of positivity in his life. When the guard came to give us the ten minute warning, we got Russell another soda and tried our best to wrap up our conversation.
Before we made this trip, Bev and I sent Russell Christmas cards. I sent him my family card we had made this year, and I enclosed a short letter telling him that my husband was a really good chess player and that Mr. Edmunds wanted me to tell him that he would love to play a game against him. Russell had mentioned in a previous letter that he played chess, so when Jim found that out, he asked me to ask Russell if he knew the algaebraic notation form, and if he did, he would love to play him. I reminded Russell about playing chess against my husband, and I told him that I would have Mr. Edmunds start the game. He said, "No way am I giving him the starting advantage. I'll make the first move against him!" It was so funny the way he said it. Bev and I still laugh!
The guard came back and it was time to say goodbye. Russell got up and we all placed our hands on the glass. He then placed his hands through the slot of the door so they could handcuff him. We waved bye and watched him be led away. Once Russell was gone, the guard came back into the little visiting room and motioned for us to pick up the phone. When we picked it up, he said, "I want you two to know that it means the world for you to come see him." We thanked him and told him that we would see him next time too, and if he could just keep an eye out for Russell for us in the meantime, we'd appreciate it.
Right before we turned to leave, Beverly looked at me and said, "Lisa, we are invested in Russell." You know...we really are, and that's okay, because this is one investment in which Bev and I will gladly continue making deposits.
When we reached the prison around noon, our plan was to have Barbara and Robin drop us off at the entrance, and then let them take the car to do some shopping and sightseeing for the two hours we were visiting with Russell and then come back to pick us up. So imagine our surprise when we reached the guard gate and the guard motioned to a long line of cars also waiting to get in for visits of their own. Unbeknownst to us, the weekend before Christmas is always a crowded time. We asked the guards how long they thought it would be, and one of them told us it could take anywhere from 20 minutes to two hours to get in to see him.
 |
| We are the white car with its doors open. There were about four cars in front of us and three behind us. |
For those who know the four of us, it doesn't take us long to meet and get to know people, and the prison guards were first on our list. We figured if we had to wait for a couple of hours, we might as well meet some new folks! We walked over to the guard stand and started talking to the guards. They couldn't believe that teachers were coming to visit a former student who was in prison. One of them told us that it was the first time in his years as a prison guard that he had ever seen that. We also met and visited with a precious couple who was visiting their son as well. They were ahead of us in the waiting line, and as soon as the guard gave us both the okay, we hopped in our cars. Bev and I told the couple that we'd see them inside. Barbara and Robin dropped us off at the front entrance, and Bev and I went all the way through security when we realized that we left our bag of quarters in the car. If you remember in one of my previous blogs, I shared that it is such a treat to be able to buy the prisoner you're visiting treats from the vending machines. Well, with no quarters, and no way to go back to the car since Barbara and Robin had already left and we had no way of calling them, Beverly and I about started to cry when we remembered the sweet couple visiting their son. We asked them if there was any way they could loan us some change since we left ours in the car, and we would gladly pay them back. Since we would all be leaving around the same time, it wouldn't be a problem to pay them back immediately. The lady told us that as soon as she found out what snacks her son wanted and bought those, she would give us some change. About two minutes later, she returned and told us we could have the rest of the money. We thanked her profusely, and we introduced her to Russell when they brought him out.
I think God purposely sets up little roadblocks in our lives from time to time, because Beverly and I realized that had we not had to wait the two hours or so to get in to see Russell, we wouldn't have met and visited with the guards and that darling couple, and we wouldn't have had any money to buy snacks for Russell, and I know it sounds silly, but that would have been devastating to us.
We had such a great visit with Russell! We laughed about some of the penpals he's been communicating with via a prison website a friend of his enrolled him in, and how with one of the girls, he's become quite the mentor/couselor to her! The three of us couldn't stop laughing at some of the things he was "helping" her with. We also learned more about Russell's childhood. He told us when he was younger, around nine or so, that his mother was on crack. He would take newspaper and go to the carwash to see if he could clean windows for a couple bucks or so. He said he always gave his mom the money he made. The last letter he got from her was almost a year ago. We are also learning more about prison life. Everything is a fight in prison, and Russell certainly isn't immune to that. For now he is rather safe because he's still in "seg" and doesn't have direct communication with other prisoners, but once he gets out into "population" in March, he won't be. He'll have to fight his way in population to prove himself and make his mark in an environment where no one remains invisible. He told us that where he is, the guards will allow them to fight it out for about 45 seconds, and they won't suffer any repercussions from it as long as they don't have any visible marks on them when they're done. It is a life Beverly and I could never imagine or understand, but it is Russell's life for many more years to come. All we can do is remind him that he is loved and continue being a source of positivity in his life. When the guard came to give us the ten minute warning, we got Russell another soda and tried our best to wrap up our conversation.
Before we made this trip, Bev and I sent Russell Christmas cards. I sent him my family card we had made this year, and I enclosed a short letter telling him that my husband was a really good chess player and that Mr. Edmunds wanted me to tell him that he would love to play a game against him. Russell had mentioned in a previous letter that he played chess, so when Jim found that out, he asked me to ask Russell if he knew the algaebraic notation form, and if he did, he would love to play him. I reminded Russell about playing chess against my husband, and I told him that I would have Mr. Edmunds start the game. He said, "No way am I giving him the starting advantage. I'll make the first move against him!" It was so funny the way he said it. Bev and I still laugh!
The guard came back and it was time to say goodbye. Russell got up and we all placed our hands on the glass. He then placed his hands through the slot of the door so they could handcuff him. We waved bye and watched him be led away. Once Russell was gone, the guard came back into the little visiting room and motioned for us to pick up the phone. When we picked it up, he said, "I want you two to know that it means the world for you to come see him." We thanked him and told him that we would see him next time too, and if he could just keep an eye out for Russell for us in the meantime, we'd appreciate it.
Right before we turned to leave, Beverly looked at me and said, "Lisa, we are invested in Russell." You know...we really are, and that's okay, because this is one investment in which Bev and I will gladly continue making deposits.
Sunday, November 13, 2011
Faith
I know it's been a while since my last blog. In all honesty, it took some time to sort of decompress our visit with Russell. Beverly and I had many sleepless nights afterwards, and when we'd see each other again, we would sort of reevaluate things and begin planning our next letters and visit. We have learned quite a lot throughout this journey. One thing we've learned is that we certainly aren't experts when it comes to prisoners or prison life. Because of this, we have had to lean on those with more experience and knowledge than us when knowing how to best approach Russell and his life in prison.
Bev and I are nurturers. We can't help it; it's just who we are as mothers, teachers and friends. This isn't a bad thing, but it isn't necessarily a good thing when it comes to helping Russell either. We have been warned on so many occasions to be careful with what we tell Russell in letters and what we send him through the mail. One of the biggest pieces of advice we have received is in regards to money. Money is power in prison. If you have money or access to it, you can pretty much do or get anything you want in there. Money is typically given to prisoners through their family members. It is sent to them and placed in their "account." When they want little treats or to purchase items, they can use their money in the prison commissary. But money can also be used to buy cigarettes, drugs, and any other illegal items prisoners should never be able to have access to. Bev and I shuddered at the thought of Russell asking us for money, because as nurturers, it would be our instinct to run to the bank and make a deposit for him. Even though we admit to being nurturers, we aren't stupid either. We know Russell isn't on a field trip or on vacation; he is in prison for committing an awful crime. And we prepared ourselves in case he did ask. About a week later, Beverly received a letter from Russell. He thanked us for coming, and as we suspected might happen...he asked us for money.
Together, we decided we would write him a letter in response to his request. We sought advice from our prison sources and began typing. We told Russell that we so enjoyed our visit with him, but that we were here to provide emotional support and moral guidance, not to give him money. We ended our letter by asking Russell that if this was not what he wanted, to please let us know and we would no longer be a bother to him. We anxiously awaited a reply from him, and honestly, weren't sure if one would come. About a week and a half later, one did come. And once again in his words, here is Russell's response to our letter:
Mrs. B,
"So how about those Rangers? They lost game 1 tonite, but we'll get it back! I just got the book about Josh Hamilton yesterday." There are very few things you can send prisoners, but books are one of them (if they're on the approved list). We decided we would start sending Russell inspirational books about people who have overcome difficult odds to get their lives back on track. Josh Hamilton's autobiography was our first. "I've only read about 50 pages, but it's real good. He had a real good start to life, & then to end up like that...Well anyways, I just got a letter from Mrs. Edmunds tonite addressing the question I had asked about financial help. I just want to say I'm sorry if I made either of you uncomfortable! :( That wasn't my intention in any way. I thank you for everything y'all are doing for me & even if y'all were only writing letters, I would still want to communicate with you, so in no way are you any kind of "bother" to me. I completely understand & respect what y'all are trying to do, & help me with. You & Mrs. Edmunds are one of the very few who have tried to help me in here. Everyone helps in different ways. In prison they don't talk to you no more. You know, in juvenile, they would have group and talk to us & try to help, but in here, they don't do that. You're basically on your own, & it's been that way the last 3 1/2 years I've been gone. You and Mrs. Edmunds stepping into my life is a blessing & it's good to have people close who want to help me be positive, especially since there's so much negativity around me, & most times it's hard not to become part of the negativity. So thank you." Beverly was sick with allergies when we went to visit Russell, so he tells her that he is glad she's feeling better. He ends his letter, "I just wanted to write a quick note & let you know how I felt. I'll close for now & God bless. Thanks again for the book!"
Respectfully,
Russell
Beverly and I have exchanged a couple of really sweet letters with Russell since this one. We told him that we are planning another visit, but that we probably won't be able to make it up there until the beginning of December. In his most recent letter, he told us that he wasn't sure if us coming in December was such a good idea...because he would worry about us driving on the ice.
Perhaps our little mustard seeds are starting to take root.
Bev and I are nurturers. We can't help it; it's just who we are as mothers, teachers and friends. This isn't a bad thing, but it isn't necessarily a good thing when it comes to helping Russell either. We have been warned on so many occasions to be careful with what we tell Russell in letters and what we send him through the mail. One of the biggest pieces of advice we have received is in regards to money. Money is power in prison. If you have money or access to it, you can pretty much do or get anything you want in there. Money is typically given to prisoners through their family members. It is sent to them and placed in their "account." When they want little treats or to purchase items, they can use their money in the prison commissary. But money can also be used to buy cigarettes, drugs, and any other illegal items prisoners should never be able to have access to. Bev and I shuddered at the thought of Russell asking us for money, because as nurturers, it would be our instinct to run to the bank and make a deposit for him. Even though we admit to being nurturers, we aren't stupid either. We know Russell isn't on a field trip or on vacation; he is in prison for committing an awful crime. And we prepared ourselves in case he did ask. About a week later, Beverly received a letter from Russell. He thanked us for coming, and as we suspected might happen...he asked us for money.
Together, we decided we would write him a letter in response to his request. We sought advice from our prison sources and began typing. We told Russell that we so enjoyed our visit with him, but that we were here to provide emotional support and moral guidance, not to give him money. We ended our letter by asking Russell that if this was not what he wanted, to please let us know and we would no longer be a bother to him. We anxiously awaited a reply from him, and honestly, weren't sure if one would come. About a week and a half later, one did come. And once again in his words, here is Russell's response to our letter:
Mrs. B,
"So how about those Rangers? They lost game 1 tonite, but we'll get it back! I just got the book about Josh Hamilton yesterday." There are very few things you can send prisoners, but books are one of them (if they're on the approved list). We decided we would start sending Russell inspirational books about people who have overcome difficult odds to get their lives back on track. Josh Hamilton's autobiography was our first. "I've only read about 50 pages, but it's real good. He had a real good start to life, & then to end up like that...Well anyways, I just got a letter from Mrs. Edmunds tonite addressing the question I had asked about financial help. I just want to say I'm sorry if I made either of you uncomfortable! :( That wasn't my intention in any way. I thank you for everything y'all are doing for me & even if y'all were only writing letters, I would still want to communicate with you, so in no way are you any kind of "bother" to me. I completely understand & respect what y'all are trying to do, & help me with. You & Mrs. Edmunds are one of the very few who have tried to help me in here. Everyone helps in different ways. In prison they don't talk to you no more. You know, in juvenile, they would have group and talk to us & try to help, but in here, they don't do that. You're basically on your own, & it's been that way the last 3 1/2 years I've been gone. You and Mrs. Edmunds stepping into my life is a blessing & it's good to have people close who want to help me be positive, especially since there's so much negativity around me, & most times it's hard not to become part of the negativity. So thank you." Beverly was sick with allergies when we went to visit Russell, so he tells her that he is glad she's feeling better. He ends his letter, "I just wanted to write a quick note & let you know how I felt. I'll close for now & God bless. Thanks again for the book!"
Respectfully,
Russell
Beverly and I have exchanged a couple of really sweet letters with Russell since this one. We told him that we are planning another visit, but that we probably won't be able to make it up there until the beginning of December. In his most recent letter, he told us that he wasn't sure if us coming in December was such a good idea...because he would worry about us driving on the ice.
Perhaps our little mustard seeds are starting to take root.
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