A Birthday Visit

I have never been one to eagerly embrace change. I am comfortable with what I know, and in that comfort I find peace, and all is right with my world. I realize change is necessary at times though too, so when Beverly called me one day to tell me that she received a letter from Russell saying he had been moved to a new prison, we both had to refocus our perspectives on how this change could be good for him and us.

Being the positive people we are, Beverly and I worked hard to build relationships with the guards at the previous prison Russell was in. We made this happen with smiles, stories, laughter, and of course some delicious cupcakes we brought to them on one visit. We dreaded having to start the entire process again as we journeyed to West Texas, this time for our visit with Russell on June 2, his 20th birthday. 

When we arrived, we excitedly greeted the new guards with our warm, genuine smiles and bubbly personalities. The guard asked us who we were there to visit and what his number was. We told him we were teachers visiting a former student, and that he had been recently moved from a prison in Northeast Texas to this new one. We then had to pop the hood and the trunk and get out of the car so they could search it. Once that was over, we found a parking spot, got our change in hand, and headed to the entrance. We always try to dress pretty nice (but casual) when we visit Russell, and we also know there is a dress code for visitors too. I was wearing a white tank top with a gray and white striped shirt with sleeves over it. You know the kind, right? So when the guard asked me if my outer shirt was attached to my tank, I gladly showed him that it wasn't, not thinking much about it and wondering why he was asking me. To our surprise, he quickly told me that I couldn't wear that shirt and we couldn't see Russell until I found something else to put on. Being two and a half hours away from Ft. Worth and not at all close to the nearest Walmart, we started panicking when the guard told us we could go to the hospitality house around the corner and they would provide a shirt I could wear. We hurriedly got back into the car and found our way to the house. 

Me in the lovely "clown shirt" outside the prison

Once inside the house, we met a precious lady named Yogi. We told her who we were and who we were visiting and that the guard sent us to her to get a different shirt for me to wear. She went to the back of the room and brought back a shirt. I referred to it as the "clown shirt" the rest of the visit as it was rather hideous, but beggars can't be choosers, so I thanked Yogi for letting me borrow it.    

She told us about the prison mission work she and her husband do. The hospitality house is their personal home, but it also provides lodging and food for those visiting a prisoner who live 300 or more miles away and cannot afford to stay at a hotel. Yogi said they have one lady who travels every weekend from El Paso to visit her husband. 

Once again, it's amazing the "road blocks" God provides for us at times. Because of my dress code violation and that "clown shirt," we have now made a connection with this wonderful woman, and she has added Russell's name to a mentor group for prisoners organized by her church.


When we finally got inside the prison, we were told where to go and that the guards would get Russell for us. The anticipation is always emotional when we are waiting to see him, but on this day it was even more so because it was his birthday. About five minutes passed when they finally brought Russell to us. The tough guy persona that is Russell in prison quickly disappears when he sees us. His eyes light up and this beautiful smile covers his face...especially when we shouted, "Happy Birthday!" I wish you all could see it. We thought since he was no longer in segregation he wouldn't be handcuffed when they brought him to us; however, he is at the bottom of the ladder, known as G5 status, and will remain that way for the next six months. So as long as he's a G5, they will bring him to us handcuffed and will take him from us handcuffed. When the six months is over, he will be free of the cuffs and will no longer have to remain in a little cage type room during our visits. We'll still be separated from him by glass, but he'll be in a more open area. We keep trying to encourage him to continue up the ladder so one day we can visit with him at the picnic tables, free from a glass partition. 


Our visit was really nice. We talked about the move and asked him how he found out he was being relocated. He said they told him the night before and that he needed to pack his belongings. He was only able to take one bag on the bus; the others he had to leave behind to be shipped later. He is still waiting for his other two bags. Beverly and I laughed as Russell told us that because it had been over two years since he had been in a vehicle, he got pretty car sick on the way to the new prison. He told us he wasn't excited about moving at first, but he has been adjusting and liking it pretty well. The food is better in this new prison and now he has a roommate. In a letter Beverly got from Russell soon after this visit, he shared with her how he learned that his roommate doesn't know how to read or write. Russell told Beverly that he is teaching him and asked if she knew of any phonics books that might help. Russell also said he hopes that teaching his roommate how to read and write is (in a small a way) how he can begin giving back to society.


Beverly and I also asked Russell about meeting with the Ad Seg board when his time in segregation was about to be over and it was to be decided if he was ready to return to population. He told us that he was taken in a room where he stood in front of the warden, assistant warden, and a sheriff. They asked him, "Why should we allow you to be in population? What have you done that shows you are ready to return?" Russell's response was genuine, and I think true as to what love can do to hearts in need. He said, "As long as I've been doing my time, I never really had a need to change, but now I have people who care about me and believe in me, and I want to do better for them." I guess those three people standing in front of Russell that day could see the change too, because they granted his request to return. 


Bev and I see it too. We see it when his smile lights up his face upon seeing us, and we see it in the sincere, "Thank you for coming to see me" we get when they tell us our time is up and we have to say goodbye. 

It has taken time, trust, and faith to get where we are today. We know we still have a long way to go with Russell, but we also know his heart, even if in a small way, is beginning to soften. Perhaps that's what happens when you know you are loved.