A Birthday Visit

I have never been one to eagerly embrace change. I am comfortable with what I know, and in that comfort I find peace, and all is right with my world. I realize change is necessary at times though too, so when Beverly called me one day to tell me that she received a letter from Russell saying he had been moved to a new prison, we both had to refocus our perspectives on how this change could be good for him and us.

Being the positive people we are, Beverly and I worked hard to build relationships with the guards at the previous prison Russell was in. We made this happen with smiles, stories, laughter, and of course some delicious cupcakes we brought to them on one visit. We dreaded having to start the entire process again as we journeyed to West Texas, this time for our visit with Russell on June 2, his 20th birthday. 

When we arrived, we excitedly greeted the new guards with our warm, genuine smiles and bubbly personalities. The guard asked us who we were there to visit and what his number was. We told him we were teachers visiting a former student, and that he had been recently moved from a prison in Northeast Texas to this new one. We then had to pop the hood and the trunk and get out of the car so they could search it. Once that was over, we found a parking spot, got our change in hand, and headed to the entrance. We always try to dress pretty nice (but casual) when we visit Russell, and we also know there is a dress code for visitors too. I was wearing a white tank top with a gray and white striped shirt with sleeves over it. You know the kind, right? So when the guard asked me if my outer shirt was attached to my tank, I gladly showed him that it wasn't, not thinking much about it and wondering why he was asking me. To our surprise, he quickly told me that I couldn't wear that shirt and we couldn't see Russell until I found something else to put on. Being two and a half hours away from Ft. Worth and not at all close to the nearest Walmart, we started panicking when the guard told us we could go to the hospitality house around the corner and they would provide a shirt I could wear. We hurriedly got back into the car and found our way to the house. 

Me in the lovely "clown shirt" outside the prison

Once inside the house, we met a precious lady named Yogi. We told her who we were and who we were visiting and that the guard sent us to her to get a different shirt for me to wear. She went to the back of the room and brought back a shirt. I referred to it as the "clown shirt" the rest of the visit as it was rather hideous, but beggars can't be choosers, so I thanked Yogi for letting me borrow it.    

She told us about the prison mission work she and her husband do. The hospitality house is their personal home, but it also provides lodging and food for those visiting a prisoner who live 300 or more miles away and cannot afford to stay at a hotel. Yogi said they have one lady who travels every weekend from El Paso to visit her husband. 

Once again, it's amazing the "road blocks" God provides for us at times. Because of my dress code violation and that "clown shirt," we have now made a connection with this wonderful woman, and she has added Russell's name to a mentor group for prisoners organized by her church.


When we finally got inside the prison, we were told where to go and that the guards would get Russell for us. The anticipation is always emotional when we are waiting to see him, but on this day it was even more so because it was his birthday. About five minutes passed when they finally brought Russell to us. The tough guy persona that is Russell in prison quickly disappears when he sees us. His eyes light up and this beautiful smile covers his face...especially when we shouted, "Happy Birthday!" I wish you all could see it. We thought since he was no longer in segregation he wouldn't be handcuffed when they brought him to us; however, he is at the bottom of the ladder, known as G5 status, and will remain that way for the next six months. So as long as he's a G5, they will bring him to us handcuffed and will take him from us handcuffed. When the six months is over, he will be free of the cuffs and will no longer have to remain in a little cage type room during our visits. We'll still be separated from him by glass, but he'll be in a more open area. We keep trying to encourage him to continue up the ladder so one day we can visit with him at the picnic tables, free from a glass partition. 


Our visit was really nice. We talked about the move and asked him how he found out he was being relocated. He said they told him the night before and that he needed to pack his belongings. He was only able to take one bag on the bus; the others he had to leave behind to be shipped later. He is still waiting for his other two bags. Beverly and I laughed as Russell told us that because it had been over two years since he had been in a vehicle, he got pretty car sick on the way to the new prison. He told us he wasn't excited about moving at first, but he has been adjusting and liking it pretty well. The food is better in this new prison and now he has a roommate. In a letter Beverly got from Russell soon after this visit, he shared with her how he learned that his roommate doesn't know how to read or write. Russell told Beverly that he is teaching him and asked if she knew of any phonics books that might help. Russell also said he hopes that teaching his roommate how to read and write is (in a small a way) how he can begin giving back to society.


Beverly and I also asked Russell about meeting with the Ad Seg board when his time in segregation was about to be over and it was to be decided if he was ready to return to population. He told us that he was taken in a room where he stood in front of the warden, assistant warden, and a sheriff. They asked him, "Why should we allow you to be in population? What have you done that shows you are ready to return?" Russell's response was genuine, and I think true as to what love can do to hearts in need. He said, "As long as I've been doing my time, I never really had a need to change, but now I have people who care about me and believe in me, and I want to do better for them." I guess those three people standing in front of Russell that day could see the change too, because they granted his request to return. 


Bev and I see it too. We see it when his smile lights up his face upon seeing us, and we see it in the sincere, "Thank you for coming to see me" we get when they tell us our time is up and we have to say goodbye. 

It has taken time, trust, and faith to get where we are today. We know we still have a long way to go with Russell, but we also know his heart, even if in a small way, is beginning to soften. Perhaps that's what happens when you know you are loved.

New Beginnings

     I love spring. I love the newness of the season, the blooming of the flowers, the sun staying out later. I love that school is almost over and the freedom of summer is within reach. It's also in this season that Beverly and I were hoping to get some pretty great news from Russell. News that we've been waiting for since we first reached out to him in September, and news he's been waiting for even longer.

Again, in his own words, is Russell's letter:

Mrs. Barfield,

"Hey, how's the wind blowing? (lol) Man I'm doing really good actually! Sorry you haven't heard from me in a few, but changes are in the making. (lol) Well one reason you haven't heard from me is because I have been waiting on the state classification committee to come from Huntsville. I thought they would come early in the month, but they didn't come until the end! (lol) On the 28th actually! But Yes! After 2 long years they voted to let me out to Population! :) I'm still in seg. right now, until all the paper work gets through to Huntsville so that'll take about 1 1/2 weeks but once that goes thru I'm going straight to 8 bldg. "G5". It's the bottom of the barrel, I have to work my way up, but it's cool with me." 
     On February 10, one of our precious and most beloved teachers was diagnosed with a brain tumor. In her last letter, Beverly told Russell about Judy and asked him to keep her in his prayers. We thought he would want to know since Judy taught Russell, even if it was for a short time. This next part of his letter just melted our hearts.

"Another reason is that I was sad when I heard about what happened to Mrs. Worrell! :(  How is she by the way? Well I have been trying, since forever to mail out a handkerchief with a "Get well soon" drawing on it but the "property lady" hasn't come by? :(  See, we can't mail big art work out thru regular mail channels, it has to go thru the Property, then the mail room. So as soon as I can get her to come by, I'll send it to you, so you can give it to her when it's convenient. Please keep it a secret till then, because I want it to be a surprise!" Jennifer, Alicia, and Sara...if you read this, don't tell your mom about Russell's "surprise" okay? :) Russell goes on to ask Beverly about the wedding she went to, and asks her if she saw any wildflowers. He tells her that he's been working on his drawing and is working with pencil. My husband, Jim has a friend who spent time in prison, and his art work is simply phenomenal! He says it's really rather easy to pick up and learn when you have a lot of time on your hands. I imagine Russell will become very good at it over the course of his years spent there. Russell's letter came right after the metroplex was hit with all of those tornadoes, so he asks, "Did you believe all those tornadoes that ripped thru DFW yesterday? It was storming bad over here. Real bad thunder & lightening! How is Mrs. Edmunds? Tell her "Hi" for me."
     This last part of his letter, albeit something small, ended up being a big joy for Bev and I. "Would it be possible to take a picture next time y'all visit? I don't think I'll be wearing a jumpsuit any longer. It'll be a 2 piece, if I'm not mistaken. I'm not sure how it is in G5, but I know population G4-G1- does. Well, I guess that's all for now. I hope y'all are okay and everything's allright! God bless & happy Easter."

Much love,
Russell A. Dow

So, life is pretty good right now. Spring is in the air, the flowers are indeed in bloom, the sun still shines into the late evening...and Russell no longer has to wear a jumpsuit.

Until next time.

Christmas Visit

     Beverly and I decided that we needed to get up to see Russell before Christmas, because it had been over a month since our first visit, and we knew with the holiday approaching and the new year beginning, it might be a while before we made it back. This time, we asked our friends, Barbara and Robin, if they wanted to journey to east Texas with us. Although Barbara and Robin wouldn't be able to get in to see Russell, since he can only have two visitors at a time, we thought it would be fun to make it a little girls' day trip. Robin had to be back in Ft. Worth by early evening for a friend's Christmas party, and we assured her that it would be no problem since we made it home before 6:00pm after our first visit. Little did we know when we set out early that Saturday morning, that our seven hour trip would turn into a 12 hour trip...and Robin missing her party.

    
     When we reached the prison around noon, our plan was to have Barbara and Robin drop us off at the entrance, and then let them take the car to do some shopping and sightseeing for the two hours we were visiting with Russell and then come back to pick us up. So imagine our surprise when we reached the guard gate and the guard motioned to a long line of cars also waiting to get in for visits of their own. Unbeknownst to us, the weekend before Christmas is always a crowded time. We asked the guards how long they thought it would be, and one of them told us it could take anywhere from 20 minutes to two hours to get in to see him.

We are the white car with its doors open. There were about four cars in front of us and three behind us.

We were so upset, because we knew if we stayed it meant Robin missing her party, and if we left, it meant not getting to see Russell for another three months or so. We apologized to Robin and told her we could leave if she wanted to. She was so gracious and told us that we came this far to see him, and we were not leaving until we had our visit. Beverly and I are so grateful to Robin for the sacrifice she made for us and Russell.
     For those who know the four of us, it doesn't take us long to meet and get to know people, and the prison guards were first on our list. We figured if we had to wait for a couple of hours, we might as well meet some new folks! We walked over to the guard stand and started talking to the guards. They couldn't believe that teachers were coming to visit a former student who was in prison. One of them told us that it was the first time in his years as a prison guard that he had ever seen that. We also met and visited with a precious couple who was visiting their son as well. They were ahead of us in the waiting line, and as soon as the guard gave us both the okay, we hopped in our cars. Bev and I told the couple that we'd see them inside. Barbara and Robin dropped us off at the front entrance, and Bev and I went all the way through security when we realized that we left our bag of quarters in the car. If you remember in one of my previous blogs, I shared that it is such a treat to be able to buy the prisoner you're visiting treats from the vending machines. Well, with no quarters, and no way to go back to the car since Barbara and Robin had already left and we had no way of calling them, Beverly and I about started to cry when we remembered the sweet couple visiting their son. We asked them if there was any way they could loan us some change since we left ours in the car, and we would gladly pay them back. Since we would all be leaving around the same time, it wouldn't be a problem to pay them back immediately. The lady told us that as soon as she found out what snacks her son wanted and bought those, she would give us some change. About two minutes later, she returned and told us we could have the rest of the money. We thanked her profusely, and we introduced her to Russell when they brought him out. 
     I think God purposely sets up little roadblocks in our lives from time to time, because Beverly and I realized that had we not had to wait the two hours or so to get in to see Russell, we wouldn't have met and visited with the guards and that darling couple, and we wouldn't have had any money to buy snacks for Russell, and I know it sounds silly, but that would have been devastating to us.

     We had such a great visit with Russell! We laughed about some of the penpals he's been communicating with via a prison website a friend of his enrolled him in, and how with one of the girls, he's become quite the  mentor/couselor to her! The three of us couldn't stop laughing at some of the things he was "helping" her with. We also learned more about Russell's childhood. He told us when he was younger, around nine or so, that his mother was on crack. He would take newspaper and go to the carwash to see if he could clean windows for a couple bucks or so. He said he always gave his mom the money he made. The last letter he got from her was almost a year ago. We are also learning more about prison life. Everything is a fight in prison, and Russell certainly isn't immune to that. For now he is rather safe because he's still in "seg" and doesn't have direct communication with other prisoners, but once he gets out into "population" in March, he won't be. He'll have to fight his way in population to prove himself and make his mark in an environment where no one remains invisible. He told us that where he is, the guards will allow them to fight it out for about 45 seconds, and they won't suffer any repercussions from it as long as they don't have any visible marks on them when they're done. It is a life Beverly and I could never imagine or understand, but it is Russell's life for many more years to come. All we can do is remind him that he is loved and continue being a source of positivity in his life. When the guard came to give us the ten minute warning, we got Russell another soda and tried our best to wrap up our conversation.
      Before we made this trip, Bev and I sent Russell Christmas cards. I sent him my family card we had made this year, and I enclosed a short letter telling him that my husband was a really good chess player and that Mr. Edmunds wanted me to tell him that he would love to play a game against him. Russell had mentioned in a previous letter that he played chess, so when Jim found that out, he asked me to ask Russell if he knew the algaebraic notation form, and if he did, he would love to play him. I reminded Russell about playing chess against my husband, and I told him that I would have Mr. Edmunds start the game. He said, "No way am I giving him the starting advantage. I'll make the first move against him!" It was so funny the way he said it. Bev and I still laugh!
     The guard came back and it was time to say goodbye. Russell got up and we all placed our hands on the glass. He then placed his hands through the slot of the door so they could handcuff him. We waved bye and watched him be led away. Once Russell was gone, the guard came back into the little visiting room and motioned for us to pick up the phone. When we picked it up, he said, "I want you two to know that it means the world for you to come see him." We thanked him and told him that we would see him next time too, and if he could just keep an eye out for Russell for us in the meantime, we'd appreciate it. 
     Right before we turned to leave, Beverly looked at me and said, "Lisa, we are invested in Russell." You know...we really are, and that's okay, because this is one investment in which Bev and I will gladly continue making deposits.