A Little Bit of Laughter

     I love the honest and at times, humorous, naivety of children. My mom used to think when she was a little girl that a house that had a picture window was something spectacular! My ten year old son thinks if you live in a two story house, you must be rich. I guess I thought the same thing when I was young too. I told you in my previous blog that I had sent Russell a card with some pictures of us (his 6th grade teachers) on various trips we have taken and just a few of the many wonderful times we have been spent together as friends. Although I know he is legally an adult now, his response to our pictures still has a bit of that funny childlike naivety. And below is Russell's third letter to me.

Mrs. Edmunds,

"So how's the school year going Mrs. Edmunds? It's been real hot, but I'm just waiting on October. That's my favorite month because it feels the best. Well, I'm just here in short to let you know I got the card and all the pictures you shot me. Y'all look great! For some reason I always thought (when I was younger) that teachers never have fun! LOL!" Didn't we all think that as kids when we looked at our teachers? "Yea, I know, stupid right, but it looks like y'all have more fun than I've had! I mean, I don't even know what zip lining is! Looked cool though!" After I read that, it made me wonder what else he doesn't know about? I can imagine when you are confined in prison how much of the outside world you must miss out on.
     One of the pictures I sent him was a time when we traveled to Colorado Springs for Beverly's son's wedding, which was held at the Glen Eyrie castle. An estate that once belonged to William Jackson Palmer who founded the city. This is the picture below.

Russell continues, "So, in that picture of y'all standing in front of "a house," is that Mrs. Barfield's son's house? It looks like a castle! LOL! It's probably the most beautiful house (mansion) I've ever seen!" How can you just not grin and laugh a bit by that response? Still that young naivety inside him. "About time someone shot me some real pictures! It seems like everybody's afraid to shoot me pics of them chillin and havin fun. But I love to see that though. It don't make me feel sad or anything. Also, I put you and Mrs. Barfield on my visitation list. I'm just waiting for it to get approved. It usually takes a week or two. I assume you won't be able to make the trip down here right now because school just started, but just a little heads up. They take pictures up here the first weekend of every month. $3.00 a piece." He goes on to remind me that we can't bring paper money; only coins, and asks if I got the picture of him he included in the letter. He said it was of him when he was 16 still in county jail before he signed for his time. Then Russell closes his letter. "Oh, thank you for the card, and send my thanks to the other teachers who signed it. I'll go ahead and close for now, but I hope to see you soon. Have a good week."

Russell

     I called the prison about a week and a half after I received this letter and found out that we have been approved on Russell's visitation list. We aren't telling him, but Beverly and I are making the trip up there this Sunday. We thought we'd surprise him. Russell told Beverly in his last letter to her about the prison taking the pictures the first weekend of every month and how they cost $3.00 each. He put "expensive" in parenthesis after the amount.

     Don't worry Russell...we've got it covered. See you Sunday!

I'll share the trip with you all next week!







Honesty

     After writing the first letter, I wondered what all I could ask Russell in the next letter I wrote him. I wanted him to know that despite what he did, there are people in the world that think about him and care how he is. Russell told Beverly that he hasn't had a visitor in 2 1/2 years. I don't know much about having a loved one or even a friend in prison, but I can imagine how sad it must be to not have had anyone make an effort to visit you since you were 16 years old. Maybe I'm just naive to visiting standards in the prison system. With that said, here is Russell's second letter: 

Mrs. Edmunds,

"Hey, how are you doing? I'm just listening to my radio, there's a storm coming in so I'm picking up stations from all over Texas, even Arkansas and Louisiana! But anyways, I just got Mrs. Barfield's letter last night. I was real happy to get it, I sent her letter off this morning. Our mail is passed to us at night, so we have to wait till the next day to send it out. She sounds like she is doing good. It makes me happy that she really wants to visit me with you." I think Russell is so truly amazed that two of his teachers from way back in the 6th grade still remember and think about him. He goes on to say that once he has Mrs. Barfield's first name, he can put us both on his visitation list. "It will take a few weeks to get approved and with school starting I know that y'all will be busy, but I know that eventually y'all will be able to come visit. For some reason everything in prison is "hurry up and wait." I know he's allowed to have up to ten people on his visitation list, and visitation is every Saturday and Sunday for two hours. It makes me wonder if every weekend, Russell hopes one of the guards comes to get him because he has visitors. I guess he's been waiting every weekend for 2 1/2 years now. He goes on in his letter to tell me that he recently signed up on a pen pal website for prisoners and has been getting a few letters from that. He says that really helps the time go by fast.
     I told you all in my last letter to Russell, that I wanted to know what happened in his life that prison would be his home for the next 22 years. Here is what he said. "I know I deserve to be here, and I don't make any excuses for my actions. Mrs. Edmunds, you asked what went wrong...I really don't know. I believe it was the path I chose to walk. It was one everyone told me I would be on if I didn't change my ways, and you know what? They were right. You can't continue to do what I was doing and not end up in prison without making a concentrated effort to change. Me, I never wanted to. I went in and out of Juvenile, went to TJC and got right back out to do the same things. My mom tried to discipline me and set me right, but still I did what I wanted. The streets was all I knew and I didn't care to change. When you get older, things change, and you have all these regrets, but as a teenager, you think you know it all, right? I thought I did and sometimes think I still do! Guess I'm still rough around the edges! I have been out of trouble though going on a year and a 1/2!" I know Russell is still "rough around the edges." How would you not be when you've spent that much time in prison as a kid?
     When I told some of the teachers on my campus about how Beverly and I are reaching out to Russell, they were so supportive and wanted to know if they could give us any books to take to him on our visit. I asked Russell if he could receive books, and he told me that he can, but the prison prefers if the books come directly from the publisher or the bookstore instead of the US mail. He said, "They probably think that someone will try to put something in it, but if it's mailed from a bookstore or something, it's less chance of that!" He tells me that he loves to read and lists some of his favorite authors. He then says, "Please tell the teachers I said hi back. I still think it's crazy that you kept up with me like you did, but when you say you believe in me, I believe you." I wonder how many people told Russell they believed in him when he was younger.
     Russell tells me that in a month, he'll be going back to population. He has been in what's called "segregation" for the last year and a half because when he was in the youngster unit in Brazoria, TX, he got into some fights. He says, "This time in seg has taught me I don't have to do my time the hard way. That was one of the other problems of being 16 and in prison. You feel you have something to prove to everybody. Now I know it's not about that. Just one more thing I wish I would've known." There are a mountain of things I wish Russell could have known! Maybe even one of those things could have prevented him from ending up where he is. I know it's too late for that now, but Beverly and I hope it's not too late for the rest of his life.
     I ended my letter by telling him how the four of us, his core 6th grade teachers, take a trip every year together, and that I would send him pictures of us. He said he would love to hear about our trip and would love some pictures so he could put them in his photo album. He ends his letter, "I'll close for now, but it was really good to hear from you again! God bless and I hope to hear from you soon."

Russell

     Beverly and I went and got a couple of cards for Russell. I printed off several pictures of all of us on various trips and took the card to school. I had the other teachers sign the card, and each wrote a little messge to him. Six days later, I received a third letter from him with the funniest response to our pictures! Beverly and I couldn't stop laughing!
     Share with you all soon...
    

Russell's Letter

     When I first sent the letter off, I asked my husband if he thought Russell would write me back. Jim said, "Lisa, out of all the things that Russell has, he has time. He'll write you back." And like I said in the last blog, one week later, there it was; a letter from him in my mailbox. And in his own words, here is Russell's letter:

Hey Mrs. Edmunds,

"How are you doing? Yes, I remember you and Mrs. Barfield both. I can honestly say that I thought my eyes were gonna fall out of my head when I read who it was writing me, because I didn't recognize the name on the envelope. I never in my wildest dreams would've thought that one of my teachers from North Richland Middle would be attempting to get in touch with me! I mean I wasn't always on my best behavior, but it is a pleasant surprise to know that some of you do care. I think it's cool you chose to keep up with me, because English was always my favorite and best course. I finished English 1-4 by the time I was 15 years old. When I went to TJC in '06 I earned 15 1/2 high school credits by the time I was released in '07, so at 15 I was in the 11th grade, going to L.D. Bell High School. I was pretty proud of myself on that end. But unfortunately I ended up getting locked up again. I've got my G.E.D. now, I got it about 2 years ago in December. I also got all my high school credits, and I passed all my TAKS tests. But I don't know what happened with the diploma I was supposed to get. But I finished all of it though when I was in county. But anyways, education is good though. I haven't tried it yet, but I think they even pay for college in here too! I'm not sure what I would want to learn, but it sounds good either way." 
     Russell goes on to ask about school, and if I knew his cousins who went to North Richland. I knew one of them; she was on our team. He continues, "Well, as for me, as you know I signed for a 24 year sentence and they sent me to "Clemens" unit over in Brazoria, TX. That's a "youngster" unit, it has a pod for minors, there was about 100 of us under 18. Well, I stayed there for a little over a year, but since I had been getting into trouble, they sent me to this disciplinary unit. I haven't been in trouble for over a year and a 1/2 now or just about. I'm older now and not as young as when I first came in, and I've learned that I don't have to do my time the hard way. I've been in this unit for about 14 months. I just turned 19 on June 2nd."
     He just turned 19! Still just a kid in my eyes. As I read this to Jim, I could feel my eyes welling up as that same thought kept running through my head. The one that repeats over and over that he is still just a kid. A kid that made a horrible decision. "My family is doing allrite, but it seems like they don't have the time for me anymore. It's that "out of sight & out of mind" thing I guess. I'm not mad at them though, because I put myself here, so I can't go cryin when things don't go my way." 
     When we had Russell in 6th grade, he had a younger sister. In his letter he tells me that he now has four more younger sisters that his mom is taking care of by herself. He goes on to tell me about the friends that keep up with him every so often, sending him letters when they have the time. In my original letter, I told Russell that Mrs. Barfield and I would like to come see him, but I figured we would have to be put on his visitation list first. I wasn't exactly sure how that worked though. Here is the last part of his letter.

"I would really love to see you and Mrs. Barfield both, but would you really want to drive all the way up here to see me? I'm literally on the edge of Texas! Not as far as I was when I did time in Houston, but it's still a good 3 hour drive I think. If you would though, I would love to see you, I just need your names and addresses to put you on the list. Once I get that, I'll put you on the list ASAP!!!" I have to admit, that part made me smile! As I read the close of his letter, I couldn't help but to let the tears fall. "Well, I'll go ahead and close this out, so I can send it out. I just want to tell you thanks for caring. You and Mrs. Barfield both. This letter really meant a lot. I hope to hear from you soon."

Sincerely,
Russell

     Beverly received her letter from Russell a few days after this one. He told her that he hasn't had any visitors in 2 1/2 years. We couldn't believe it, but maybe it's not that hard to believe? I don't know, but I'm glad we're going to see him nonetheless. I think connections are important, and if we can make this connection with Russell regardless of the circumstances that brought him to this place, it will have been worth it.
     In my second letter to him, I asked him what went wrong in his life that this is now his home for the next 22 years. His response was simple, but honest.
     Until next time...

Seven Years Ago

     In my 17 year career as a teacher, I've taught well over a thousand kids. When you've taught that many students, it's honestly hard to remember all of their names and faces. And when they leave 6th grade, as you all know, they have a tendency to change in appearance...just a bit. I try to remember their names once they exit my 6th grade hall and venture on to new experiences as older and wiser kiddos, but sometimes it's just not possible. I do remember many though. One in particular, I'll never forget.
     Russell was 12 (or maybe 11) when he entered our 6th grade English and reading class. I could tell automatically that he was going to be a challenge, but after a few weeks of having him in class, it was a challenge my friend Beverly and I were up for. We knew he was smart from the beginning, and we reminded him about this constantly. It got to the point where we decided to put him into our Pre-AP honors English and reading class. I think he was excited. Excited about being in an honor's class? I'm not sure, but excited that two teachers knew he was smart enough to do the work and deserved to be there. Russell, like many of our other students, lived in an area where students are bussed to our school from a Section 8 housing complex. An area known by everyone in our district as a place the cops don't even venture into unassisted. A single mom and no father present in his life, Russell was up against many obstacles from the beginning. Beverly and I believed in him, and encouraged him daily to make the best of his life. When he left 6th grade, we continued that encouragement. As my friend Barbara says though, "When you're a 6th grader, your teachers aren't all that important to you."
     Russell continued on in school and continued getting in trouble. When he was in the 8th grade, I remember seeing him sitting in the office with his head hanging low. He had gotten in trouble, and I guess was waiting to see what his punishment would be. I told him that he knew where I was if he needed to talk. He told me, "okay," and that was it. 8th grade came and went, and we no longer knew what he was doing or where he was. Beverly and I thought about him often and wondered if he was okay. It turns out he wasn't. The next time we saw him was his mug shot on the news.
     As we soon learned, Russell was involved in a drug deal with five other boys that was actually a set up for retaliation against a guy who had broken into one of the boy's apartment. Another young man happened to ride along with the boy they were seeking retaliation against, and sadly, he ended up getting shot and killed. Russell pulled a gun and killed an innocent 19 year old. Russell was 15 years old. I would never condone what he did, because he had no right to do such an awful thing, but throughout the case, I couldn't help but to go back to one thing: He was 15 years old! Just a kid who I believe wholeheartedly, simply couldn't escape his environment. I know that doesn't make what he did an easier to accept, and my heart deeply goes out to the victim's family. I know many of you will view Russell as an evil, evil person, but Beverly and I don't. We see him as a kid whose environment was more powerful than he was. We kept up with Russell throughout the case and even talked to a reporter on several occassions. The last we heard Russell was tried as an adult at the age of 15 and reached a plea to serve 24 years in prison.
     Three years passed, and I still wondered how he was. After weighing on my heart for several weeks, I decided to find him. The last we heard he was still in Fort Worth, but I know that prisoners get sent to various prisons through the course of time, so I doubted he was still here. I went online and found his new location; a prison in northeast Texas. I decided to write him a short letter reminding him who I was and letting him know that Beverly (Mrs. Barfield) and I think of him often and wonder, even under the circumstances, how he is. One week later, I received a reply.
     I'll share that with you next time...