I know it's been a while since my last blog. In all honesty, it took some time to sort of decompress our visit with Russell. Beverly and I had many sleepless nights afterwards, and when we'd see each other again, we would sort of reevaluate things and begin planning our next letters and visit. We have learned quite a lot throughout this journey. One thing we've learned is that we certainly aren't experts when it comes to prisoners or prison life. Because of this, we have had to lean on those with more experience and knowledge than us when knowing how to best approach Russell and his life in prison.
Bev and I are nurturers. We can't help it; it's just who we are as mothers, teachers and friends. This isn't a bad thing, but it isn't necessarily a good thing when it comes to helping Russell either. We have been warned on so many occasions to be careful with what we tell Russell in letters and what we send him through the mail. One of the biggest pieces of advice we have received is in regards to money. Money is power in prison. If you have money or access to it, you can pretty much do or get anything you want in there. Money is typically given to prisoners through their family members. It is sent to them and placed in their "account." When they want little treats or to purchase items, they can use their money in the prison commissary. But money can also be used to buy cigarettes, drugs, and any other illegal items prisoners should never be able to have access to. Bev and I shuddered at the thought of Russell asking us for money, because as nurturers, it would be our instinct to run to the bank and make a deposit for him. Even though we admit to being nurturers, we aren't stupid either. We know Russell isn't on a field trip or on vacation; he is in prison for committing an awful crime. And we prepared ourselves in case he did ask. About a week later, Beverly received a letter from Russell. He thanked us for coming, and as we suspected might happen...he asked us for money.
Together, we decided we would write him a letter in response to his request. We sought advice from our prison sources and began typing. We told Russell that we so enjoyed our visit with him, but that we were here to provide emotional support and moral guidance, not to give him money. We ended our letter by asking Russell that if this was not what he wanted, to please let us know and we would no longer be a bother to him. We anxiously awaited a reply from him, and honestly, weren't sure if one would come. About a week and a half later, one did come. And once again in his words, here is Russell's response to our letter:
Mrs. B,
"So how about those Rangers? They lost game 1 tonite, but we'll get it back! I just got the book about Josh Hamilton yesterday." There are very few things you can send prisoners, but books are one of them (if they're on the approved list). We decided we would start sending Russell inspirational books about people who have overcome difficult odds to get their lives back on track. Josh Hamilton's autobiography was our first. "I've only read about 50 pages, but it's real good. He had a real good start to life, & then to end up like that...Well anyways, I just got a letter from Mrs. Edmunds tonite addressing the question I had asked about financial help. I just want to say I'm sorry if I made either of you uncomfortable! :( That wasn't my intention in any way. I thank you for everything y'all are doing for me & even if y'all were only writing letters, I would still want to communicate with you, so in no way are you any kind of "bother" to me. I completely understand & respect what y'all are trying to do, & help me with. You & Mrs. Edmunds are one of the very few who have tried to help me in here. Everyone helps in different ways. In prison they don't talk to you no more. You know, in juvenile, they would have group and talk to us & try to help, but in here, they don't do that. You're basically on your own, & it's been that way the last 3 1/2 years I've been gone. You and Mrs. Edmunds stepping into my life is a blessing & it's good to have people close who want to help me be positive, especially since there's so much negativity around me, & most times it's hard not to become part of the negativity. So thank you." Beverly was sick with allergies when we went to visit Russell, so he tells her that he is glad she's feeling better. He ends his letter, "I just wanted to write a quick note & let you know how I felt. I'll close for now & God bless. Thanks again for the book!"
Respectfully,
Russell
Beverly and I have exchanged a couple of really sweet letters with Russell since this one. We told him that we are planning another visit, but that we probably won't be able to make it up there until the beginning of December. In his most recent letter, he told us that he wasn't sure if us coming in December was such a good idea...because he would worry about us driving on the ice.
Perhaps our little mustard seeds are starting to take root.
